I’m not sure how to process this
Can you help me?
We are often told that we have to ‘trust the process’.
And as someone who is an artist and believes in the concept of creativity, it is at the heart and soul of what I do.
However, I do struggle with one type of process.
And that is the process of dealing with certain emotions.
Recently, I’ve had to tackle the concept of ‘grief’ and I realise it’s not an easy thing to deal with.
I’ve labelled it ‘grief’.
I think that’s the right label.
But I am not sure what I am supposed to do, and how to tackle it specifically.
It does sometimes feel like there should be a manual that helps one handle something so deep.
I know not dealing with emotions head on can have a long-term effect on your life so it is better to process and make sense of what is going on.
I also am conscious not to sit in it for too long so that it creates a permanent fixture in my life that I can’t function.
So many things have to be considered.
So today, I wanted to reach out to you and ask you how you deal with the concept of grief.
How do you handle your lives?
What have you done that worked for you?
What has been your process?
To me, the term ‘process’ always evokes a sense of movement; that you need to get from one place to another.
I mentally visualise a path where stagnation isn’t really allowed.
And on the other side, you’re somewhat ‘better’.
I wanted to see where the term ‘process’ comes from.
How did it get its meaning, and what themes followed with its evolution?
To do this, the term ‘process’ needs to be split into two parts,‘Pro’ and ‘cess’, to understand the etymology.
The latter part, ‘cess’, has its roots in the Proto-Indo-European root of *ked-. This means ‘to yield’ or ‘to go’.
This root also formed all or part of other words like ‘concede’ and ‘succeed’.
’Pro’ is the prepositioned word that has its roots in the Proto-Indo-European term *per- which means ‘forward’ or ‘in front of’.
It has formed all or parts of words like ‘foremost’, ‘perhaps’ and ‘perpendicular’.
*ked- evolved into the Latin ‘cedere’, retaining its meaning from the root. We see the two parts come together to form ‘procedere’ in the Latin to mean ‘go forward’, to then evolve into the Latin ‘processus’ meaning ‘a going forward’, an ‘advance’, or ‘progress’.
The Oxford English Dictionary notes that the word ‘process’ first appeared in the English language from before 1325 in the Statutes of the Realm - a collection of Acts of Parliament from English and Great Britain.
We seem to have kept the initial root meaning of advancing through, and sustained the idea that we must move forward.
But it’s not the easiest thing to do.
So today, I want to ask you, how do you process grief?
As an empath I have struggled with emotions a lot, so much so that I struggle with depression because of it. "I also am conscious not to sit in it for too long so that it creates a permanent fixture in my life that I can’t function" is something I understand to my very core and yet struggle to implement.
I haven't been able to deal with it properly but since giving advice is much easier than following, here you go:
1. Living in the present without lamenting over one's past or fearing one's future is the way to live.
2. As Krishna says, focus on your Karma and don't fret over its fruits.
3. Aṣṭāṅga Yoga, especially it limbs like Pratyahara and Dhyana will help. I can elaborate and provide resources if you wish.
4. From a biological standpoint, physical exercise releases endorphins which are immensely helpful. So is human company and connection.
5. From a psychological perspective, we are supposed to process our negative emotions and not distract ourselves to escape from it.